Who doesn’t love worms

So go ahead – make your own worm farm.  You can actually buy one but they’re ridiculously expensive, given that they’re basically three stacked plastic tubs.  You fill the top with bedding,  moisten, and add red worms.  Once they’re settled in (it takes about a week), add kitchen compost.  As the worms turn it into soil, it drops down into the lower bins.  You keep adding your kitchen compost to the top and eventually remove rich garden soil from the bottom bin.

If you’re doing it right, it doesn’t smell.  And you shouldn’t have fruit flies.  And no, the worms will not sneak out at night and try to climb into bed with you.

Worms love fruit and vegetable waste.  They’re not so into meat and dairy and processed foods.  So who’s to say you won’t develop a serious affection for your worms and start eating healthier foods and cut meat and fat out of your diet and lose 100 pounds and drop your cholesterol and add ten years to your life and maybe win a gold medal at the Olympics for luge?

And as a bonus, the next time you go on a date and the person asks the inevitable, “do you have any pets?” – you get to answer, “Worms!  I have lots of worms.”  This virtually ensures that your future partner has a sense of humor.